Sunday, April 18, 2004

shattered

My cousin was in a car accident a few days ago. Her back was broken. Today I found out that she is paralyzed from the waist down. She is in her early twenties. I am going to attempt to write a letter to her. A letter of warmth and love. How does one go about writing such a letter? (By the way that question is rhetorical. Please don't respond to it. Most of our responses to such a question end up being about as trite as most of the letters that will be sent to my cousin in the hospital.)

Her life was spared. Thank you Lord. Her legs were not.

Some questions she may be asking:
Why me?
Why me?
Why me?
Did I deserve this?
Will I be able to function now?
Will I ever be able to have kids?
Will anyone ever fall in love with me ever again?
Can I forgive myself for drinking and driving?
Why me?
Will people think less of me now?
Will people look at me weird in a wheelchair?
Should I just kill myself and get it over with?
Why me?
Why didn't you protect me, God?
Are you even there, God?
Why did you do this to me, God?
Why can't I just walk again?
Why me?
What now?
Where do I go from here?
Where do I work?
How do I shower?
How do I go to the bathroom?
How do I reach the top shelves?
Will I ever be independent again?
Will my boyfriend leave me now?
Can I blame him if he does?
Will I ever be able to drive again?
Should I ever drive again?
Why did this happen to me?

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