exposure and contamination

I am thinking through exposure verses contamination these days. I thought about this today as I drove in my car listening to Christian music. I listen to the Christian radio station because I find that I really do praise God as I sing when that radio station is on.

I remember going through a time when I rejected all forms of Christian music. I had grown up listening to Christian music and really enjoyed it. Then I reached a place where I began to realize that there was other, better music out in the world. And a lot of Christians began to mock Christian music. And they were right to do so for the most part. So why do I listen to it now? This is the question I asked myself.

Well, I found myself listening to the Christian radio station more and more. Not because of some external pressure to do so, but because I found my moods, my thinking and my overall attitude much more "God-ward" when I did than when I didn't. I still listen to a variety of music on the radio. But I must confess that my favorite station is the Christian station.

I know this is heresy for all the other post-modern, emergent church-planters out there. I have crossed over to the dark side by admitting this. But I began thinking about why it is that I feel the need to sing worship songs in my car. Somehow it connects me back to the purpose of my very existance. And so rather than sing along to a love song or an "angry at the world" song, I like to sing along to a "praise God for loving me and saving my sorry ass" song.

Part of me thinks that I need to listen because of my own weaknesses. I wonder if exposure to the world must be balanced out with exposure to God. An imbalance of exposure creates contamination. If I am continually exposing myself to the world through its images and subtle lies in advertising, music, movies and culture then I need to also expose myself to the Spirit of God, scripture, the presence of God in prayer, holy community and the like in order not to be contaminated by the world.

Relevance and love for people demand that I am "in" the world. Holiness and love for God demand that I am not "of" the world. If I seclude myself from the world then I lose my ability to reach out to it. I become contaminated in a different way. I become contaminated with inwardness, selfishness, and exclusivity. But if I am exposed only to the world or even mainly to the world, then that is what I will be contaminated by. I will begin to look more like my culture then I do Jesus. Which, I must confess, is probably the case in my life.

I am over exposing myself to the world like an albino in the blistering Carribean sun. I think we all are. I think this is true especially for those who find themselves, relunctantly or not, in the emergent church. This is of course a reaction against Christianity as an exclusive community. But both have their damaging effects.

So now I attempt to rid the contamination by balancing the exposure. One part God, one part world. And maybe listening to Christian music is a part of that.

Jesus was perfect at this anti-contamination via balance of exposure. He could enter more deeply into the world than his disciples could. He had 100% exposure to the light, so darkness was never too dark for him. He could hang out with prostitutes and not lust after them. Could you do the same with porn stars? Could you enter that deeply into the world and not be contaminated by it? Probably not. I couldn't. Why not? Because that kind of exposure to the world would contaminate me. In my life I don't expose myself to God enough for contamination NOT to happen in a situation like that. Jesus could hang out with drinkers and not get drunk. He could hang out with gossips and not spread rumors. He could be with thieves and not clutch his wallet.

I think many young Christians, many emergent, think they are strong enough to be in the world and not be contaminated by it. They think too highly of themselves. Our pride comes before our fall. We have rejected "churchianity" and "christianese" in favor of diving headlong into the world. And maybe this is where Jesus calls us to be. But many of us are not ready to be there. We are over-exposed to the world and under-exposed to the voice, presence and power of God. And so, right and left, we are being contaminated. And instead of spreading the gospel, we are infecting the next generation of disciples with eight parts world, one part God.

So what do we do? Do we run back to our exclusive Christianity, shuting the doors behind us as we go? No. Our only option is to dive headlong into God. To expose ourselves to Him every day, all day. And our hope is that His piercing Light will burn away the darkness that fogs our life.