Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Its funny how inoculated we are from our senses. Do we really FEEL anymore? It seems that we protect ourselves from really feeling anything in this life. When our life gets bored and tired and too logical we lose that daily emotion of life. When we live a life that is less than the abundance which is found only in Christ, we lose the marrow of life. We don’t risk for Christ. We don’t step out and do crazy things in faith. We don’t take the risk of caring for people, feeling for people. We guard ourselves from empathy and protect our hearts. We want life to be fun and exciting but we don’t want to feel too much. Feeling too much is dangerous.

We even try to substitute for this lack of feeling. We watch sad movies so we can have our heart ache. And yet we are still safe because it’s only a movie. The pain can end when we leave the theater. We resort to Oprah and her emotionally touching life stories. We might do drugs. We might try to tap into our sexuality in one way or another just to feel….making out, masturbation, pornography, sexual encounters in various forms. We might get crushes on others just for the rush. We might lift weights to feel the physical pain. We might self-mutilate for the same reason. We might speed in our cars just for some adrenaline. Do we do all of this just to feel? Just to tap into parts of ourselves which make us feel awake, make us feel alive?

In the end, we have lost the ability to feel God. We don’t know His intimate touch. We’ve lost the rush of seeing Him work in powerful and mysterious ways. Our hearts have grown cold to the love He offers.

Father, have I lost the ability to see you, to hear you, to touch you. Father, help me truly FEEL life. Help me to experience an abundance in this life which can only be from you.


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