talking with a hot girl on a friday night

Ok guys, get ready for this one. I go to Common Grounds on a Friday night to surf the web and to get some reading done. And wouldn't you know it, one of the hottest girls in Collins Hall comes up behind me and taps me on the shoulder. She sits down right next to me with her Pi Phi friends and begins a conversations.

Now Jessica is one of the most physically attractive girls that I have seen on this campus. All the bitter girls reading this right now need to just prepare themselves. I am about to, yet again, be a normal human guy. I know its shocking, but it happens sometimes.

This girl's eyes are like a color I have never even seen before. They look like she has contact lenses on. Granted, she is 18 and is a freshman. But still, we sat there face to face having a conversation about a foot away from each other. Eye contact out the ying yang.

I want it to be known that I don't want to date this girl nor am I lusting after her. But her physical beauty is striking to the point of curiosity. So we sat and talked and she told me a little about herself. I felt a bit weird as I shared that this was my 7th year in school, that I am about to graduate, and that I will be a pastor soon. I think that as I shared a little about myself, the age difference became more and more apparent.

But the thing is that I have right now in my wallet two tickets to the Passion of the Christ for tomorrow night at 9pm. She mentioned that she hadn't seen it either and that she wanted to go see it Tuesday. Seriously guys, come on. Hot girl, sits down to talk to you, talks about her faith, talks about her job this summer ministering to high school kids at a camp, then she mentions that she wants to see the movie that you want to see, and you just happen to have two tickets for that movie the very next night. Tell me the temptation to ask this girl out on a date for Saturday night isn't off the charts.

But I resisted. She is just a youngen after all. A hot youngen but still a young youngen. I sucked it up and tried my best to handle the situation with integrity. We had a great conversation, which ended with me saying that I had to get back to my homework. Yeah right! I just HAVE to get back to my homework at 12:30am on a Friday night. But I had to break away from the conversation for fear that I might do something stupid. Looking into strikingly beautiful eyes has a way of making me do stupid things. Like asking a freshmen on a date to go see the Passion of Christ, of all movies.

I have to confess though that even though I "did the right thing" it wasn't as easy as I had hoped. The temptation was there and it was strong. My ego was feeling pretty good. Here this superhottie was diggen me on a friday night. It was fun. And the fun could have continued tomorrow night. We could have gone to see the movie together. And my ego would have been feeling alright. It would have been a night that I didn't have to fight off those nagging thoughts that wonder if I am too weird for a girl to like me. I could have ended a saturday night not wondering why I couldn't get a date again. I could have laid my head down on my pillow secure in knowing at least some girl wanted to go out with me on a saturday night, even if she was just a super hot freshman.

Some reading this could probably laugh at me at this point. And I guess I should laugh at myself. Some may think that by not asking out this girl I was simply doing the normal and right thing. That may be true. But until you have been in that situation, please don't judge. Its harder to resist that temptation than you think. The ego is a tricky thing and it demands tending to. And when it is rejected time and time again, not by others but by my own self, it can hurt sometimes. There is a sense that to "deny myself" is to do violence to myself. Even when it is as silly as not asking a hot girl out who would go out with me if I asked.

So I take a deep breath, chuckle at myself and the soap opera drama, and thank God that I didn't ask that girl out. I am sure that that simple date would have turned into a whirlwind of criticism, judgmental remarks, and mockery. And all of this I am glad to avoid, regardless of how appropriate they may have been.

Father, once again I submit to you. I trust that your ways are better than my own. I trust that less of my own ego could only be a good thing. I trust that by going home alone yet again on a saturday night, that you will help me die to myself and truly live in you. I trust that you will be my comfort and my partner. Father, help me embrace loneliness that comes from obedience and offer it to you. Teach me in the midst of it that I am never alone, and that you are always with me.