Saturday, February 21, 2004

retreat with God

I just got back from leading a weekend retreat on "rest" for the college group at FBC Waco. It was fun. I didn't get much rest. But it was still fun.

Speaking three times in a 24 hour period wears me out. And I woke up every hour on the hour Friday night/sat. morning because we had 6 guys crammed into one room. Its ok though, I was one of two that got to sleep on a bed.

In the end I am reminded just how much I have to learn about teaching and preaching. I wish that I was just being modest when I say that "I am not very good at it" but unfortunately I am just being honest. And not the kind of self-deprecating honest where you wish people to feel sorry for you. No, its the "as a matter of fact" honest that stings a little.

But I know God moved and taught. I know He used me because that is what He does. He always takes the best crap that I can offer and he manages to turn it into little precious gems. Though I am not sure if the college kids got much out of this weekend, I did have some SWEET time with Him in the last two days.

There was plenty of time to be silent, to watch the stars, to see the sun set, to feel the breeze, to sit in the grass, to hop across a small stream and to glory in His creation. There was ample time to pray and to listen. It was good. Not because I got any sleep, but it was good because I was in His presence. My hope is that just as God met me there, that he met those college students there as well.

In the end, I am confident that God would have shown up whether I had anything to say or not. That is just what he does. He shows up. And in the end, His creation spoke more profoundly than I ever could. But alas, for some reason He wanted me to join Him in the work that He was already going to do. And for that I can only thank Him.

Father, thank you for taking me along with You. I know You don't need me to do your amazing work. I know I don't have to be there for You to show up. But time and time again I get invited to be with You while You do that very thing. You honor me in this. And I am humbled. In some way, Lord, I pray that my life would honor You in return.


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