Friday, February 13, 2004

distant flirting

Here is the thing with girls that may be flirting with me. If I think a girl may be paying extra attention to me or "looking my way" then what should I do?

My initial tendency is to keep a flirtatious distance. This way, she can flirt and I can flirt and its all done at a safe distance of looks and an occational "Hello."

But I am realizing more and more this distance can be my own selfishness at work. This thing about a girl who flirts from a distance is safe for me and puffs up my ego. Simply put, at a distance she can't see my warts. From a distance I can be sure to hide my flaws and personality querks.

My guess is that if I started just talking to these girls normally their infatuation would soon die. They would see the real me and be turned off. Using Jason's analogy, they would talk to Superman and realize that I am not "super" at all, but a genually messed up Clark Kent.

So maybe its not that I am too scared to talk to them. Maybe it is that I am too scared to have them talk to me. Maybe I am scared that their puffed up illusion of me would soon be popped by my rough edges. Its much easier for my pride for them to flirt at a distance. That way they can keep their false hope that I am some "super stud" and I can keep my illusion that they are interested in me.

Father, help me to always be me, warts and all, even to the strangers that I find looking my way. I pray that as I boast in my weakness, You would be magnified all the more.


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