Sunday, February 08, 2004

how do I make a decision

I was watching that movie "Fools Rush In" with Matthew Perry and Selma Hayek. Selma's character talked about her Mexican family's beliefs. She said that she believed that each person had a destiny and that it was up to the person to see the "signs" in order to lead them to that destiny.

This got me thinking about my own theology. Some could accuse me of having that same kind of theology. This is because I believe that God had one college that He wanted me to go to. I believe God had one seminary that he desired me to go to. Likewise, I believe there is one person who He wants me to marry. Does this make me a fatalist or Calvinist? Not really.

I don't believe in fate or destiny. I don't believe we each have a road map all planned out for us. But I do believe that God has an opinion, and even, a specific desire for our lives. What I mean is that I don't believe that it was planned out at my birth that I would go to Messiah College. But I do believe that when I was looking for colleges, Messiah is the one God wanted me to go to. I believe God knows me better than I do. I believe he knew about Messiah College better than I did. And so as I sought Him in that decision, I believe he led me to that place.

My theology could even fit into those crazy Open Theists' theology. Although I don't consider myself an Open Theist, my understanding of their theology would fit my view of making decisions. It wasn't necessary for God to know the future to lead me to Messiah College. It was only necessary that He know all there is to know about me and about the many colleges in the US. If God knows all there is to know, which would exclude the future, then it still makes sense that I should ask Him what decision I should make.

This kind of decision making still works with going to seminary and even my future wife. I needed God to let me know what the best decision was. I needed His omniscience and not necessarily His prophetic future telling. Thus, it still makes sense that God would have A girl that he wants me to marry. It still makes sense, even if God doesn't know the future and even if he hasn't mapped out my whole life, that He has an opinion about who I should marry. Especially if I view God as a Father of intimate love. These decisions in my life matter to Him.

Now, moving away from Open Theism, what if our God does know something about the future? All the more reason to depend on God to reveal which way to go,... which decision to make.

So people ask me, "Do you think God has just one person for you to marry?" And I usually answer them, "Yes." But maybe I should clarify my answer. Maybe next time someone asks me that question I should answer, "He will."

Father, I know that my theology is usually as messed up as me. Help me to err on the side of trusting more in You and being more dependent on intimacy with You. God, I trust You to know me better than I know me. I trust that you care about the decisions that I have to make in my life. And I trust that You have an opinion about which way is best.


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