Saturday, January 31, 2004

an idiot

I have been friends with girls my whole life. I consider my girl IQ above average when it comes to friendships. My best friend in High School was a girl. She began to open up my world and help me see the different ways that females think about life as compared to males. She revealed to me how her emotions moved her to do things (good and bad) that I would never think of doing. Then, in college, my three closest friends were girls. None of these people were girlfriends, just friends. I had more friends that were girls than any straight guy should have. And they showed me even more the pressures and expectations placed on females in this society. They showed me their struggles and their weaknesses as women. It was so eye opening. I began to learn more and more about how females worked.

Now I turn the page to the romantic zone. This is where I am idiot. Its almost like I think too logically for this emotionally drenched zone of games and flirtation. My IQ in terms of dating and romance is such that I should be going to a "special education" school. I pray to God all the time for Him to give me wisdom in this area because I am so severely lacking. I can't tell when girls are flirting half the time. I don't know when to ask a girl out and when not to. I don't know how to tell if a girl is interested. I can't even tell, within myself, when I am interested. At most I know when a girl is cool and when a girl is attractive. Beyond that, I am lost. I don't know what makes a great date. I don't know what's romantic. I can't tell when I have hurt a girl's feelings. Most of time I can't even tell if I am flirting or not. I can't tell if a girl is sending "signals" of either kind, good or bad. I don't know how to ask a girl out. I don't even know where to go or what to do on a first date. "Un-smooth" would be an understatement in describing me.

All of this simply reminds me of my complete dependence on God for any relationship of "significant romance" with a female. As I read back over this post I really wish the above was exageration. Sadly, as my closest friends can attest, it is not.

Father, I give it to you......again.


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